Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
