Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
