nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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