wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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