Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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