he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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