IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
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Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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