She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
