My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
