I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
