Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
