the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
