another moral hangover. fuck.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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