At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize