you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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