u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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