so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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