I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
