There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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