Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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