I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
