Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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