haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
