i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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