i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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