Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
