note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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