I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
