Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
