You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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