Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
