hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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