she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
