Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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