i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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