Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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