i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
