Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
