Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So gin and wine won't be happening again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
