I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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