remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
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A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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