after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
