Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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