you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
