I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
