Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
