erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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