how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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