I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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