I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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