before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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