Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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