summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
