whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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