I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it glows. i had to have it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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