Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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