I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
