Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
