i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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