Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
