Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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