TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
